What To Exchange Your Crap Christmas Gifts For

Lingerie makes a genuinely wicked present – especially when it’s pricey. It’s one of those things that although we wear it every day, because nobody else sees, it can feel a bit of a waste of money that could have been spent on that nice Topshop blouse you’ve been eyeing up. But whilst you can’t always justify getting it for yourself, it makes it prime present real estate. Unfortunately, yours and your boyfriends tastes differ. He likes fishnet bodystockings, whilst you like pretty and delicate lace. I’m sure these swaps below are enough to change his tastes…

You know that he knows that it irritates your skin to high heavens. In fact, you’ve been through this SO many times through your teen years that you’ve come to the conclusion he’s bought you this as a gift purposely to irritate your mind and soul, as well as your body. Change it out for some hair products because nothing says I Slept With Your Best Friend in Your Bed When We Were Teens like a sassy hair flick and a knowing look. 

DVD box set from your cousins

What even is a DVD player? Yes, you loved all of the Sex and the City’s but your not sure it lives up to the feminist ideals you’ve taken on. Instead, you swap it for a Netflix membership. 

I get it. Your mum obviously doesn’t want you to ever get laid so she’s going to try and prevent this in the only way she can think of now that you don’t actually live in her home anymore: by cladding you in pyjamas that scream crazy cat lady in the making. I love my mum, I love my pyjamas, and I actually love cats too, but I’d be swapping these out for a new pair of gym leggings to encourage me to whip my arse into shape in the new year. 

Ah, the cookbook. Promises so much, but in reality, nobody ever has the 15 different spices required to make just one recipe and nobody is ever going to go out and buy them all. Instead, you’ll just substitute them for other things and end up eating something that tastes like World-Fusion food put in a blender with some cabbage. Get yourself a juicy new novel or something self-helpy to start the year right instead to help make your miserable January commute a little more tolerable.