I’m So Over Trying To Look Effortless

Hair extensions, contour, highlight, fake tan and clothes. No, these are not a list of 5 things a member of the TOWIE cast could not live without. They are in fact a list of 5 things I don’t think that I could live without (okay, I could forgo them all come the zombie apocalypse, but only if I really had to). Unfortunately, however, the inner circle of fashion isn’t reserved for people like me as such (heaven’s forbid, we might smudge our contour onto someone else’s perfectly porcelain makeup-free skin during the air-kiss) It seems like it’s reserved only for the natural, just-got-out-bed, effortless girls.

It’s a little hard to pinpoint what effortless really means (I mean, let’s face it, if I really knew what I meant would I be writing this? No, I’d be off doing something effortlessly cool without knowing it, smoking a cigarette in my dirty T-shirt) but I think it’s somewhere between not trying too hard with your aesthetics. So basically, not putting much effort into your hair and your makeup.

Just Google effortless style and you’re bombarded with thousands of image galleries and how-to articles dripping in the coolest most laid-back looks. Joggers – effortless! Baseball caps – effortless! Utilitarian jumpsuits – effortless! Your dad’s trousers from the 90s – effortless! There’s thousands of hits on how to look ‘naturally effortless!’ – but hold the god damn door. Is this all not just a little counter-intuitive to the effortless cause? I’ve just wasted 30 damn minutes of my time caring about how to not look like I care. Ugh.

Trying to be effortless is a total paradox. And when I’ve tried to look effortless, I’ve ended up spending way longer than I would do had I tried to make an actual effort.

Next thing you know I’m turning up to work half an hour late looking like I’ve made half as much effort as I usually would and my boss is looking at me like u ok hun?

Now some women look utterly flawlessly, drop-dead, stop-you-in-your-tracks stunning with minimal effort. Put them in jeans and a T-shirt and the whole world will still stop and stare. Put them in a bin bag and the whole world will stop and stare – and in a good way. This obsession with possessing effortlessness makes it feel like it’s a juicy piece of social capital: not looking like you’ve made an effort shows that you’re somehow a little bit better – a bit more, naturally good looking – than those who do make the effort. You still shine bright like a diamond in your #nomakeupselfie without any damn highlighter at all. Congrats.

But some of us need a bit more than a bin bag and some micellar water to look, and most importantly, feel good. And I’m a firm believer that there’s no harm in perfected makeup and a put-together outfit if it makes you feel like you can conquer the world. Fashion is fun. Fashion let’s you dress up and be whoever you want to be. And it’s the same for makeup too.