Ah, London Fashion Week, that bi-annual event where all of the coolest, most stylish human beings congregate to get the latest need-to-know of what’s hot and what’s most definitely not. Whether it’s buyers for luxury department stores, editors of magazines, superstar bloggers, or peacocks just attending to get their picture snapped by some maj publication, the LFW crowd certainly drops Soho’s coolness barometer a few degrees for those few days twice a year. And that means one thing: be on your best (aka, least embarrassing) behaviour. When you’re a small-time fashion writer/blogger like myself, you’re a small fish swimming in a big, big pond of sartorially inclined sharks, and nobody wants to mess up, do something stupid, and utterly embarrass themselves in front of these sharks. At best, they’ll laugh at your fashion fail. At worst, they’ll be interviewing you for a job someday and remember you as that idiot that did something utterly idiotic. Unfortunately – as I’ve come to learn over the past few years – when you’re trying extra hard to not look like a fool, you often end up doing something that makes you look even more foolish (plus, being around people you think are far slicker than yourself only heightens the feelings of awkwardness) So here’s a run down of my top 5 fashion week faux pas, in all of their embarrassing glory.
1. Forgetting to de-tag my new jumper
We rarely get the opportunity to be our most stylish selves in our regular 9-5 jobs. For many, fashion week gives an opportunity to dress up. A few years back when LFW was at Somerset House, I went and purchased lots of new jazzy items. In all of the excitement it seemed that I forgot to take off the tags of my new oversized navy jumper.
Shoes I can’t walk in… then falling over.
Similarly to number 1, fashion week can encourage us to wear slightly over the top clothing, experiment, and simply try out new things. Unfortunately, back in the early days when I didn’t realise that comfort is key to a sartorial success at LFW (and subsequently stopped caring about anyone taking my photo) I decided to wear some gargantuan chunky high heels. And because British Fashion Council like to hold fashion week at venues that have surprisingly uneven terra firma (erm, Somerset House cobbles, anyone?) my fashion week high came to an almighty fall as I quite literally stumbled right over. Painful in so many ways, I left with everything in tact – apart from my pride. That, alongside my arse, remained pretty bruised.
a designers name totally wrong in a video interview
There’s always people with cameras dotting about interviewing stylish looking people about their LFW experiences. Cue some YouTube entertainment news channel pulling me over to ask me what shows I was most looking forward to. Unfortunately, this was my first ever fashion week, so to say they caught me off guard is a bit of an understatement. I was attending shows on behalf of a random magazine which now ceases to exist so had very minimal knowledge of the designer world back then, so I simply blurted out the name on the invitation in my hand. Regrettably, in the panic, I switched two letters around and pronounced Bora Aksu as Bora Asku. Easy mistake to make, kind of. It was only when I took my seat in the show and the name was emblazoned up in lights that it hit me I had pronounced it so very wrong. Fail.
4. Dropping my lipstick down the drain in front of everyone
Remember when the word on the street was that MAC’s Velvet Teddy was one of Kylie Jenner’s favourite lipsticks and they flew off the shelves quicker than you can say Lip Fillers? Well I had luckily got my hands on this hot property cosmetic. But whilst pulling my phone out of my bag at Somerset House, my lipstick flew out along with it at such speed it went hurtling towards the drain. And for that second it hit the drain cover, it was as if the whole of the courtyard went silence. And in slow motion I watched as it rolled and plummeted into the dirty, dark, watery grave below, making the biggest splash noise in the world that people turned around and stared. RIP Velvet Teddy.
5. Getting drenched by someone driving through a puddle
The opening credits for Sex and the City are highly known for one reason: the bus driving by the puddle and drenching Carrie Bradshaw. Well, whilst it may seem to be the only kind of thing that happens in a TV show or set-up YouTube prank videos, I can testify that it most certainly can and does happen in real life. Harking way back to my first ever fashion week once again, I was rushing out of my house in my perfectly planned day 5 outfit when having walked all but 250 metres from my house, a van drove by at speed through a puddle stemming from a blocked drain, subsequently soaking me from neck down. I was wearing faux fur. Faux. Mongolian. Fur.