Go Big or Go Home

Extra long sleeves – aka, can’t text back sleeves – give you the perfect excuse to ghost that awful Tinder date, because you quite literally can’t text them back

It’s a well known fact of fashion that not all trends are created equal. Some are practical (see: normcore) Some are fun (see anything Jeremy Scott does for Moschino) And some are faintly ridiculous, simply because fashion needs something strange and bizarre to satisfy our insatiable appetites. See: extra long sleeves, or, more appropriately, can’t text back sleeves. Yes, this season’s literal largest need-to-know is sleeves that look as though they might have just swallowed your hands like some kind of sartorial snake.

The trend started trickling down the runway as early as last year, with The Row, Stella McCartney, and Celine overblowing silhouettes into almost comical, lobster-like claw proportions. J.W. Anderson has followed suit, with an eclectic 80s-meets-Edwardian fusion, and of course Vetement’s lumbering elongated sleeves have been seen on everyone from Kanye to Rihanna. But a lot like Vetement’s itself, this trend has been labelled as just hype.

And it’s easy to see why. Our lust for things that err on the impractical side of the sartorial barometer manifests itself in something new each season, and this time it’s nestling in the fabric that’s pooling around our hands.

But it’s not all bad. So here’s a little breakdown on what this trend is good – and bad – for.

Can’t Text Back Sleeves are

Good for

Catching attention whilst hailing a cab – as seen in image 4 (although most of us use Uber now anyway)
Dancing – throw some seriously wavey shapes (equally illustrated in image 4)
Ghosting your Tinder date – they’re called can’t text back sleeves for a reason. Use it.
They add dimension to any look – see how they elevate and transform a pair of straight-leg jeans?
When your boyfriend tells you not to blow things out of proportion – snap your fingers in a sassy mmhmm click (these sleeves will make it ever so more dramatic) and tell him that big proportions are in. Duh.

Bad for

Getting our phone out of our bags and pockets (which then makes getting aforementioned Uber a little harder…)
Eating saucy foods – a closer inspection will reveal a multitude of sins on these sleeves. Curry sauce being one of them.
Getting absolutely zero attention – non-fashion people will look at these sleeves and wonder if you’re okay. But do you care? No.

So if there’s one thing we can take away from this it’s when it comes to sleeves this season, there’s only one rule:

go big or go home.

Have you seen my new transeasonal fashion haul video?

Photography by Rebecca Spencer
I’m wearing H&M jumper, Dorothy Perkins jeans* (similar), Forever 21 bag*, Maison Margiela mules, Celine sunglasses

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