• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Home
  • About
  • Contact
  • Shop My Instagram

Sophie Milner

  • #relatable girl talk
  • Lifestyle
  • sex & love
  • fashion
  • travel
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter
  • YouTube

5 Ways To Get Your Shit Together In A Quarter-Life Crisis

21/07/2016featured, Lifestyle, millennials, millennials problems how to deal with a quarter life crisis, quarter life crisis, think-pieces

I finally understand what Britney was on about when she sang “I’m not a girl, not yet a woman”…


I finally understand what Britney was on about when she sang “I’m not a girl, not yet a woman”…

It’s six weeks until I hit the big 25. That’s a quarter of a century. A big milestone. But instead of celebrating in the way we do for 18th’s (Yes Mr. Bouncer, I DO have ID!) and 21st’s (why do we even celebrate this one again?) your 25th will be celebrated in either misery, or denial that you’ve graduated from the 18-24 tick box in surveys, finding yourself in the new bracket of 25-32’s. What’s that? Oh, the sound of your wrinkles deepening in your face.

I’m only joking. 25 isn’t old (see, that’s the denial kicking in.) Despite technically being a fully grown adult with an actual job, living away from my parents, and a house plant that is definitely not dead yet, I spend a large percent of my time questioning everything that I’m doing. 
  • Why have I not landed my dream job? 
  • Why do I still only have enough in my account to buy baked beans for dinner? 
  • Do I go and explore the world or climb that corporate ladder?
  • Why are the men I talk to more likely to send a photo of their genitals than send flowers? 
  • Why is my mum so mad I slipped some Absolut Vodka in the trolley when I went to visit? 
  • Will my future husband really be someone I met on Tinder? 
  • Am I too old for liking Little Mix? Asking for a friend… 
  • How much wine is too much wine? 
  • Is there such thing as too much wine?
  • Why is the cat praised for being fat and hairy but I’m not? 
And it all feels so wrong. Britney, I get you. It’s a quarter-life crisis and it can happen in so many little ways. 
So in the wake of impending real adulthood, when you’re asking yourself so many existential questions that you could be mistaken for a Philosophy grad, here’s the answers you really need to get your shit together. 
1. Look at the bigger picture. And then look at a bigger one
When we’re having a little crisis, it all comes down to personal identity and having zero clarity because our brains are self-imploding. You can’t even see the problem in front of you clearly because the wires in your brain are short circuiting with a fuckfuckityfuckingfuckfuckfuckwhatamidoingwithmylifeeeeeee. So think of something bigger – much bigger – to realise how small our problems really are. It’s not about delegitimising any feelings or emotions, but about gaining perspective. 
What do I do? I look up to the sky, as hippy-drippy as that sounds. But it works. Especially at night. Look up and really think about those stars. All of the galaxies above. The planets, lightyears away. Things that have travelled years just to hit your vision. And then bring it all back down to earth, and everything and everyone around you on this planet. It’ll shrink your worries. 

2. Take a break from social media
I’m not saying take a total digital detox, but having a little break from social media can be refreshing. Everyone’s life looks better online, working as a highlighter pen pointing out all of the best things that can make us feel as though we’re underachieving. So when you feel yourself scrolling through Facebook feed before bed thinking “How did spotty Sarah suddenly get so attractive, land her dream job, bag a handsome husband and a house in the country whilst I’m here in pyjamas covered in Sunday night’s takeaway curry residue?” you should put your phone away and forget about it. 
3. Look at how far you have come
In the words of Drake, we started from the bottom now we’re here. Yes, we’re HERE! And where is here? Well, it might be crammed on the Central Line in the height of summer, face pressed into a sweating businessman’s manboobs, but it’s a far cry from sitting in a maths exam you’re less than underprepared for enough for, or on the school bus having some kid call you fat, or dressed up as a Victorian chimney sweep in your school play. You go Glen Coco!

4. Think of at least one thing that you’re really good at

Against the backlash of the whole mindfulness and positive thinking movement, I’m still happy to admit that keeping a general positive mental attitude is key to keeping your head above water. Maybe you’re a really good cook or the friend everyone turns to when they’re having a crisis (check you out, reliable!) Maybe you don’t get hangovers. Whatever your talent, as tiny or large as it is, focus on it and feel good about it.

5. And remember, we’re all in this together
… for lack of a better lyrical quote, yes, that is High School Musical. But, they were certainly onto something. Look through your group Whatsapp chats and I’m sure it won’t take much scrolling before you come across one of your pals lamenting to the group that her total arsewipe of a boyfriend broke up with her, or they got fired from their side job because their manager didn’t get on with them. We all have problems, but we’re all each other safety nets for when we think we’re falling.

Previous Post: « In Defence of Realisation Par’s ‘Sexist’ Dress
Next Post: How To Ask Brands To Pay You For Collaborations »

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Lil Black Boots

    21/07/2016 at 8:11 am

    Absolutely loved this post. Making me feel inspired on my commute into London! I'm turning 25 in September and totally get this entire post haha.

    Reply
  2. Virgos and Kisses

    21/07/2016 at 8:50 am

    Hahaha basically what 👆 she said. Made my journey to work so much better!

    Reply
  3. Polly Bartlett

    21/07/2016 at 12:51 pm

    Your posts always make me laugh so much! Been feeling the same way recently, good to know I'm not the only one!! xx

    http://www.pbandthejourney.com

    Reply
    • Sophie Milner

      21/07/2016 at 7:43 pm

      honestly, after posting this today i had some drama and I had to basically reread this post to myself!!!

      Reply
  4. Rui Jun Luong

    21/07/2016 at 5:35 pm

    Haha great post!

    http://www.fuckhighclass.com

    Reply
  5. Martha Edwards

    21/07/2016 at 10:47 pm

    I definitely do the thinking about the universe thing too! Sometimes, making yourself feel totally and utterly insignificant can be a good thing I guess! Loved this, Sophie x

    Martha Jane | http://www.marthajaneedwards.com

    Reply
  6. Kassie Barker Jones

    22/07/2016 at 3:24 pm

    I loved this Sophie! I am definitely having a life crisis – but this made me feel slightly better…this and the bottle of wine I an see in the fridge. Thank you!

    Reply
  7. Bee

    22/07/2016 at 4:11 pm

    I'm 25 on Monday.
    Thank you.
    Same feels. Except I want to know why my mum finds it so amusing when the cat is being ruthless and standoffish and yet I'm just being a grumpy bitch?
    Bee
    http://www.sorunawaywithme.com/

    Reply
  8. Megan Lillie

    25/07/2016 at 10:14 pm

    Another post that I absolutely love Sophie! Although I've only just graduated from University, I feel like I'm coming up to this quarter life crisis and this made me giggle!

    Megan xo
    Thumbelina Lillie | UK Beauty & Fashion Blog

    Reply
  9. Anonymous

    09/09/2016 at 12:03 pm

    Love this! I'm just after turning 29 and feel this way! 🙂

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

@sophiemilner_fs

sophiemilner_fs

Pink 💕 thinking of doing a pretty pink valentin Pink 💕 thinking of doing a pretty pink valentines feed 💕✨
Enjoying cute spots in the new flat to take pics ☺️💕 
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

#ootd #inspo #aesthetic #parisianvibe #parisianaesthetic #minimal #neutralfeed #neutralstyle #flowers #pinkroses #valentines #valentinesfeed #badestoutfit #babesofmissguided #pfg #neutralhome
Valentine’s Day: do you do anything for it (even Valentine’s Day: do you do anything for it (even a card, an acknowledgement of it) or do you just live it like any other day? It’s not something that bothers me really but I said to Jimmy “it would be nice to get some flowers though” - he replied by asking me when actually is Valentine’s Day. Lol. So... bets are on. Who thinks I’ll be getting flowers on Valentine’s Day 😂?
Walks by the river in the only hour of sunshine we Walks by the river in the only hour of sunshine we’ve had recently 🙌🏼✨
Don’t worry I’ll just be sitting here patientl Don’t worry I’ll just be sitting here patiently waiting for summer so I can enjoy my walks in the park in these sandals 🥺 but seriously, my chanel sandals have been the best investments I’ve made. They’re about the only shoes I wear in spring summer. Until then, I guess I’ll be wearing them as slippers 🥴
Denim and leather - the ultimate staples 🙊 I ca Denim and leather - the ultimate staples 🙊 I can’t remember the last time I wore jeans that didn’t have this 90s style fit! I’m hopefully going to be organising my walk-in wardrobe today and I can’t wait to get it all sorted and organised!
Ad Cosy elevated @missguided basics from my latest Ad Cosy elevated @missguided basics from my latest haul on YouTube! I've got a collection of cute new-season staples (well, tbh, staples for EVERY season), pretty AND comfy lingerie (valentines day is looming....) some cosy loungewear, and a seriously killer suit. And I also have a special discount code: SOPHIEM10 🙊 links in my stories or you can shop this look using the @liketoknow.it app
Follow on Instagram
This error message is only visible to WordPress admins

Copyright © 2021 ⸱ Sophie Milner ⸱ By Hearten Made

Copyright © 2021 · Dainty on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in