Over the knee boots are my forbidden fruit: something that I always really wanted, but never thought I could (or should) have. The chocolate cake to all dieters. The tall-dark-handsome-man my best mate just started dating (sorry…)
Why? Whilst the models in Vogue and street-style stars with lean-queen proportions seem to pull these boots off in a state of what can only be described as over-the-knee nirvana, a more bottom-heavy and curvaceous me would more likely fall into the territory of moderately-priced-dancer in a Magaluf strip club.
But despite tweeting this a year ago, and writing at the top of my New Years Resolutions for 2014 “get skinny enough not to look like chubby hooker in over the knee boots,” I seemed to have had a change of heart.
No, I certainly haven’t lost any weight this year (*cries into burger*) despite joining two different gyms and coaxing several free sessions out of the personal trainers, but I did disregard all of my own personal views to try out this trend, probably due to overexposure to over the knee boots on Instagram.
The main issue I faced? (Not including my thigh circumference)
Finding the perfect pair. It seemed everywhere seemed to be stocked with flat heeled boots (purrfect if you really want to look like puss-in-boots), Stiletto heeled boots (if you really want to unleash your inner-dominatrix publicly), Pirate boots (too flappy at the top, a bit too Captain Jack Sparrow for me), and Chunky Platform heeled boots (I’m just not that into emulating Posh Spice before she became the modern VB incarnation we all now love.)
This left one question on my mind for months:
Did a pair of black suede over the knee boots with a small but chunky heel exist anywhere on the planet that wasn’t going to withdraw £500+ from my penniless purse?
All hail Topshop. Queen of the High Street. Topshop’s Control2 over the knee boots have padding in the leg to hold the boots in place, and have the perfect sixties-esque 3inch heel.
The biggest surprise? They were oddly flattering and I didn’t look like Pretty Woman post-pizza binge.