Bodycon(fidence)

Topshop Skirt | Topshop Top | River Island Boots | Zara Bag
There was this one time that I ate pizza. And then I cried. Hilarious and rather embarrassing, really, looking back at it…
 The logic (if there is any) behind the tearful breakdown was the sensation of a post-pizza guilt-wave pouring over me: I could literally feel the cheese melting into my thighs and becoming part of my being. Looking down at the half eaten pizza, the pepperoni may as well have spelt out “you fat bitch” for all I cared. Because that’s exactly how I felt. Like a Michelin man made out of mozzarella.
Pathetic, isn’t it, considering I’m a UK size 8 (sometimes a 10 on the legs and bum, if we’re talking post-pizza). But when you are working in an industry where images of idealised perfection bombards you continuously it feels almost normal to maintain a little bit of self-hatred, despite being completely healthy. My confidence is forever being destroyed by Kendall Jenner’s abs and legs… The truth is, no matter what size anybody is, everyone is going to have something they don’t like about themselves. It’s completely normal.
So what makes me feel slightly better about myself when I feel like a total chunk of cheddar?

• I remind myself that if you don’t like something, you should either change it, or accept it. I can’t seem to accept the fact that my thighs have the circumference of approximately 5 of my heads, so I’m eating less pizza, doing more squats, and eating more carrots (hopefully until my thighs are then the circumference of a carrot…)
• Fashion is a mode of creating and channelling confidence, so use it. Known amongst my friends as the Queen of Oversized Knitwear, sometimes it feels so good to hide yourself under a chic roomy jumper (I’m telling you, nothing hides rolls better than roll necks). But then weirdly, what also works for me is wearing something bodycon. No short basic bitch bandage dresses, but sophisticated, sexy pieces and show off the right curves. The way I see it is like fighting fire with fire, or maybe fighting lack of body confidence by showing off my gargantuan arse? Either way, do what makes you feel happy. 
• Don’t take what you see so seriously. Instagram is a curated gallery of an individuals’ best photographs. We think it’s more real life than what we see in magazines, but the truth of it is nobody is going to upload a photo of themselves that’s so bad it’ll make them lose followers rather than gain followers. 
• Everyone’s idea of perfection is different. So don’t let what other people think is perfect make you feel imperfect. 
• No matter what size you are, there are always going to be things that you’re not happy with: having or not having body confidence isn’t size specific. 
• And if you want to eat pizza, then eat the damn pizza. Just don’t cry about it afterwards like I did…

Cue cliche but very true girly quote:

You will never look like the girl in the magazine. The girl in the magazine doesn’t look like the girl in the magazine