The Tartan Suit

ASOS Check Blazer | ASOS Check Trousers | Christian Louboutin Shoes | ASOS Sunglasses | ASOS Top | Zara Bag

Tartan suits are a bit of a weird one.

They are an unknown territory that I previously assigned only to very dapper men who know their tailoring, or tall and thin models who have very dapper boyfriends they could ‘borrow’ tartan suits from and wear with all of the nonchalant elegance of a rock-star-ballet-dancer.

I am not a dapper man. Or a model or a rock star. And I gave up ballet dancing when I was four years old because they would’t let me wear a pink tutu to class. So in a complete lapse of sensibility and self identity I ordered a tartan suit anyway hoping for the best… and this is what I got.I came to realise that there is a very fine line between a gritty-grunge-chic aesthetic and emulating TV presenter extraordinaire Lorraine Kelly circa 1992. The vital difference between the two lies in the colour palette of the checks, the tailoring of the suit, and the accessories you wear with it (I stand by the fact that Louboutin’s are capable of resurrecting any poor sartorial choice. Lorraine darling: take note.)A major criticism? The trousers. They fit on the hips, rather than the waist. Cue flashback to my youth when ‘hipster jeans’ were all the rage. And not as in trendy East-Londoner hipster jeans. I’m talking about those awful low-rise, hip-hugging, muffin-top-inducing, g-string-revealing jeans that should be suppressed deep in our memories along with Furby’s and that time your boyfriend cheated on you with your best friend at the school disco…